


The Right Time

by Ryu_Reikai_Akuma



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Injury, Love Confessions, M/M, Rejection, Uncle-Nephew Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2603666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma/pseuds/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After making the mistake of confessing his feelings to Thorin without first properly courting him, Kili set out to convince Thorin of his sincerity. That simple goal, however, wasn’t easy to achieve as time seemed to always be against him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Right Time

**Author's Note:**

> Last week’s theme is obviously the glorious trailer! As anyone who follows my tumblr knows, I’m a bit too excited about the forehead bump. Sadly, said excitement refused to be put down in words and I ended up with angst again and writing and editing while being sick didn’t help. So.

It didn’t go as we as he had hoped. Although why he had hoped for a positive outcome, he still didn’t know because, on hindsight, he shouldn’t have fallen prey to impulsiveness. He should’ve taken his time and properly approached Thorin to assure him of his sincerity. Honestly, Kili had no one else to blame but himself.

“I love you,” Kili said in front of the hearth in Thorin’s house, eyes full of honesty, heart full of love, his hands tentatively searching, wanting to hold.

Thorin froze. “I’m your uncle,” he said a moment later, his voice stiff, his body tense.

Still, Kili tried, hoping against hope that there was still a chance. “I know.”

“It’s wrong.”

“I know.”

“Yet you don’t care.”

“I love you.”

Thorin frowned and shook his head. Kili’s only consolation was that there was no anger or disgust in his eyes. He couldn’t bear the thought of not being allowed to be near Thorin again.

“It’s a temporary infatuation. You’ll change your mind.”

“But…”

“It’s a temporary infatuation,” Thorin repeated firmly.

Kili wanted to argue that he wouldn’t change. He had known as soon as he understood what love is, and he hadn’t changed his mind since. He was attracted to Thorin who made him feel breathless with thoughts of embrace and made his mind swim with fantasy of kisses; who made him happier just by spending time with him even when they did no more than talk of mundane things such as the weather; who he wished to shower with affection just to see him full of genuine contentment. Kili had waited to see whether it’s a fleeting fancy but the feeling remained, intensifying instead of disappearing. He still yearned. He still wanted. He still loved. He would always do. But Thorin’s gaze left no room for argument and Kili nodded sullenly.

“I’ll get us something to drink,” Thorin said, his tone softening.

Kili looked at Thorin in trepidation. But, while there’s no sign of anger or disgust Thorin’s face, there was bitterness. When his eyes met Kili’s, the twitch of his smile was forced and he left before Kili could mention his look of disappointment. Realization took Kili’s breath away. Thorin also wanted him.

Kili’s fingers twitched, wanting to stop Thorin from getting away from him. Thorin only needed one word (or, well, three) to have Kili for life. But Kili couldn’t deny that he had made a mistake by being too hasty. He couldn’t blame Thorin for thinking his confession was nothing more than empty words when he had shown nothing to prove his intention. So, he let Thorin left, respecting his reasons.

When Thorin returned, the topic changed and he showed no sign of remembering their previous conversation and Kili didn’t try to remind him of it. However, Kili had made a decision. He would show that his love was unchanging, that he was worthy of a place by Thorin’s side. It wouldn’t be easy. Thorin was strong-willed and the world would likely be unkind to them, but Kili wasn’t worried. One day, he would make Thorin see and then he would make them both happy.

* * *

Kili honestly expected it would take a while to have his efforts noticed by Thorin. He gave everything he had in his lessons and duties, came home bruised and exhausted, spent hours in the library until his eyes crossed. Dis and Fili quickly noticed the change but Kili thought it would take much longer for Thorin to see his efforts and  _then_ realized his objective. To have Thorin visit him during archery practice just two weeks after his failed confession was quite the last thing Kili expected.

“You’ve been working very hard lately.”

Kili lowered his bow and grinned at Thorin, pleased that his efforts were acknowledged. “I thought you didn’t notice.”

“I always do,” Thorin replied. His cleared his throat, realizing what he just said. He glanced at Kili, seemingly expecting him to bring up their conversation a couple of weeks ago, but Kili said nothing, knowing it wasn’t the right time for it yet. “Balin and Dwalin have good words for you.”

Kili laughed. “I should hope so! I’d like to know all those aching arms and legs and sleepless nights didn’t go to waste!”

Thorin frowned. “You shouldn’t force yourself too hard,” he warned.

Shrugging, Kili replied. “Good results don’t come out of nowhere.”

“But they shouldn’t come at the cost of your well-being,” Thorin argued, something in his voice made Kili pause.

Kili saw affection beneath Thorin’s tough exterior and apprehension and if he had any doubt of what he had seen a couple of weeks ago, this would be a confirmation. But Kili restrained himself from acting on his happiness at this realization. Thorin still kept his distance. He still wasn’t convinced.

“I’m all right,” Kili said gently. “Let me do this.”

Thorin studied him. “Why are you doing this?” He asked quietly, as if worried of Kili’s answer.

“To make you happy,” Kili said because Thorin deserved the truth. He deserved to know that Kili still loved him despite the initial rejection.

For a moment, Thorin was silent and Kili held his breath. While he had taken the initiative to convince Thorin to choose him, he was aware of the possibility that Thorin didn’t want him to even try. And if indeed Thorin wanted him to stop, Kili would have no choice but to comply, to keep his feelings to himself, to not even hope for a chance. But Thorin smiled and nodded.

“Show me your skill,” he said, nodding to Kili’s bow, and Kili understood enough to know that he wasn’t merely speaking of archery.

Grinning, Kili obeyed and aimed at the furthest target, wanting to impress Thorin. He stilled when Thorin clasped his shoulder, his heart thundering in his chest. He watched Thorin from the corner of his eyes, studying the conflicting emotions on his face, wishing he could do something to alleviate it. In the end, Thorin lifted his hand and sat down somewhere behind Kili to watch him.

Kili threw a glance at him and readjusted his aim. He smiled when his arrow hit the target precisely in the center, making Thorin nod in approval. Kili was still far from his goal, his fingers barely touching it. But his shoulder was still warm when Thorin touched him and he felt that it was a step in the right direction.

* * *

Kili smiled at the sight of Thorin laughing. It’s very rare to see Thorin relaxed and happy, the burdens on his shoulders lifted temporarily. By tomorrow morning, a mountain of duties would have awaited him, but on this day, his birthday, he allowed himself to unwind. Kili refilled Thorin’s goblet, feeling rather proud that he managed to convince Thorin to do this. Kili’s smile widened when Thorin accepted the goblet, their hands brushing each other.

However, the moment was broken as a dwarf ran into the hall where the feast was held. He loud panting was audible as the voices around him died down slowly. He took a big gulp before speaking to Thorin. “There were sightings of Thrain.”

Thorin’s eyes widened and not a second later made a decision. Kili, Fili, and Thorin’s advisors followed him out of the hall, trying to reason with him. Wait, they had said to Thorin. Let’s wait until we’re sure and we know what how dangerous this might be, they had advised. But these wise words fell on deaf ears and everyone stopped when they received an angry glare.

“You should talk to him!” Fili said under his breath, not wanting to be heard by Thorin who was striding toward his room.

“Why would he listen to me?” Kili replied.

“He always listens to you, especially lately.”

Kili wanted to argue but the look Fili gave him silenced him. Had he? Kili had been so focused on being denied what he truly wanted that he didn’t notice, only knowing that Thorin still wouldn’t accept him as a lover. While Kili doubted this was a case as simple as asking for permission to hone his hunting skill rather than theoretical knowledge on politics, Fili’s observation gave him courage.

Kili followed Thorin to his room. Thorin turned slightly when the door closed behind Kili. “If you’re here to stop me, don’t bother.”

Kili stepped further into the room, worriedly looking at the piles of things Thorin would bring to the ill-planned search. “We don’t know yet if it’s true or not. Let someone else go for you,” Kili tried.

“I have to do it myself,” Thorin growled.

“But…”

“He’s my father, Kili! If anyone is going to find him, it is me!” Thorin shouted as he turned to face Kili.

Kili froze in fear. Thorin never yelled at him. He had been scolded, had been criticized, but no matter what Kili did, Thorin never raised his voice when speaking with him. Kili had never been scared of Thorin. He had seen Thorin’s fighting ability and strength but he had never worried that they would be directed toward him. Now, for the first time, he wondered if he had made a wrong assumption. Had Kili crossed the line too far?

It seemed that Kili’s shock and fear was palpable because anger melted from Thorin’s expression. “Kili,” he whispered regretfully. He pursed his lips and turned away slowly.

Without thinking, Kili came to him. When he stood by Thorin’s side, dark hair covered Thorin’s face from view and Kili wished nothing more than to push it aside, make Thorin look at him, and tell him it’s all right, but he wasn’t sure such intimate gesture was allowed yet. So, Kili hesitantly caressed Thorin’s arm, offering unspoken forgiveness.

“Ered Luin needs you.” I need you, Kili wanted to say but kept to himself.

“And I need to find him.”

There was something small and fragile in Thorin’s voice Kili had never heard before, something lonely and scared he never showed the world. Kili took Thorin’s hand in his and squeezed it gently. He wasn’t sure what to say. His own father had died of natural illness. He had had time to prepare himself for the loss, to lessen some of the pain. But Thorin had never had the opportunity as Thrain had disappeared suddenly. But while no sign of his whereabouts might signify the worst possibility, it also left room for hope, no matter how unlikely.

Thorin peered at Kili from behind the curtain of his hair. “I have to do this,” He said quietly, almost apologetically, and Kili’s face fell. But, Thorin tugged Kili’s hand, drawing his attention. “If in four months time I don’t find him, I will return.”

Kili nodded, knowing it wasn’t a time for negotiation. It wasn’t completely satisfactory, but he understood that Thorin had to do this for himself, to find closure after decades of painfully questioning and hoping.

Kili watched Thorin pack everything he might need for the search. When everything was ready and Kili had no reason to stay, he touched Thorin’s hand as he excused himself. He stored the image of Thorin’s reassuring smile in his mind, knowing he would need it in the months to come.

* * *

The company settled down long past midnight when their host burglar had retired to his room in annoyance. There was only one spare room but there’s a lot of space around the house for everyone. Kili carefully avoided stepping on his companions who made the floor their beds for the night as he looked for a place to sleep. He had given up the couch next to Fili’s to Balin who, due to his old age, preferred soft bedding, not matter how thin, to cold hard surface. Kili was young and no matter how much he wished to savor the last comfort he would find in a while, he could handle some discomfort. At least they’re indoors where there’s warm fireplace and protection from weather and predators.

“Not sleeping yet?”

Kili smiled, his exhaustion immediately lifted. He turned to Thorin who emerged from the shadow of the sitting room. Kili could barely remember the last time he could have a private moment with Thorin. When Thorin returned to Ered Luin a few weeks ago, they had immediately started discussing and then preparing for the quest. Kili’s hope to steal time with him as they went to Hobbiton together had been dashed when Thorin announced he would go hold a meeting with other dwarf lords. Kili had expected that smile when Thorin arrived earlier would be the closest interaction they had for a while. He was never happier to be wrong.

“I’m looking for a place to sleep. Why aren’t you sleeping? Hasn’t Mr. Baggins given you a room?”

Thorin nodded. “I’m not sleepy yet.”

“Excited about tomorrow?” Kili asked with a grin.

“You mean this morning,” Thorin corrected. He laughed quietly, his face lighting up in rare moment of openness and relaxation. He had been this way, beaming with hope, since he returned from the futile quest for Thrain with a plan for a journey to reclaim Erebor. Kili couldn’t resist coming near, drawn to his happiness. “Yes, I’m quite excited, in fact.”

Home. Thorin was finally going home and Kili would finally see with his own eyes what thus far had only been described to him. They had a wizard on their side (and a burglar, maybe). They would realize what others had failed to do, what Thorin and other dwarfs from Erebor had longed for, for too long.

“You will see, Kili, what your mother and I have been telling you about. Our words don’t do it any justice at all. You’ll see.”

“I can barely imagine,” Kili said, smiling.

Thorin shook his head. “There won’t be any need to imagine anymore. You _will_ see.” Thorin patted Kili’s arm, smiling tenderly, his eyes warmer than a beautiful summer day, making Kili lose himself as he gazed into them.

For a second Kili thought that his wait was over, that Thorin would give his approval to Kili in words or touch or kiss. But the moment was broken by a loud snort from nearby. Dwalin, who was sleeping just outside the sitting room, rolled over in his sleep, making Kili jump. Thorin chuckled when Kili scowled at the warrior. “Come with me. There’s a couch in my room,” Thorin said, putting an arm over Kili’s shoulder and steered him toward his assigned room.

Kili’s eyes widened and he stared at Thorin in disbelieve but Thorin only smiled at him. “Your room?” Kili asked, not trusting his ear.

“My room,” Thorin confirmed.

Kili clutched the fabric at the back of Thorin’s shirt, not wanting to risk letting Thorin changed his mind. They walked to Thorin’s room half leaning to each other for support and comfort. Kili was disappointed when they had to part to sleep but was slightly appeased when he found that he could watch Thorin sleep from the couch.

The gentle dance of the flame lighted Thorin’s smiling face, warming Kili more than the fire. There was still some distance between them, but Kili was confident the day would soon come when he crossed it. His progress was slower than he wanted, but good things come to those who wait. Just as sleep claimed him, he heard Thorin spoke softly.

“You will be by my side when the door opens, when we look upon the halls of our father, and there you will stay: By my side. I promise you.”

That night, Kili dreamt of a kingdom of green marble, of Thorin on a throne, and himself by Thorin’s side. He dreamt of duties fulfilled, contentment in their hearts and a home with his most loved one.

* * *

Kili took off his very wet clothes and shivered when cold air hit his naked skin. At the moment he wanted nothing more than a hot bath to ease the pain in his muscles and return heat to his body. He knew the quest wouldn’t be easy, but he wasn’t quite prepared for the prolonged period without comfort. For months, every chance to rest was plagued with fear of being attacked and now they had a time limit. There wouldn’t be any more lingering even when the world seemed to be against them such as now when storm raged outside the cave the company was in. Thorin had ordered that they would stay only as long as the storm lasted. For a while, he longingly thought of Rivendell and the friendliness of the elves, but he quickly reminded himself of his duty. He wasn’t here to befriend elves. He was here to reclaim Erebor.

“Kili?” Thorin’s familiar voice came from the dark, roughly from the direction of the cave chamber the company would sleep in tonight as they waited for the storm to pass.

“I’m here,” Kili replied as he struggled to put on dry clothes without light. He should’ve taken a torch with him but he had been shaking in his wet clothes and quickly went to change into something warm and comfortable. “I’ll be done in a…”

Kili had no chance to finish his words as he was pulled into Thorin’s tight embrace. He made a soft noise of surprise when strong arms wrapped around him. His cold chest was pressed against wet fur and his face buried in Thorin’s damp hair. Thorin’s warm breath caressed his chilled skin, making him shudder.

“I thought I’ve lost you,” Thorin whispered, his voice suspiciously uneven.

Kili put his arms around Thorin, holding him close. “I’m all right,” he said, stroking Thorin’s back to calm him. It seemed to do little good. He could feel Thorin’s shoulders shook as his arms tightened around him.

“If I lose you in this quest…” Thorin didn’t continue.

Kili wanted to say that Thorin wouldn’t lose him, but he couldn’t guarantee anything. They weren’t even halfway to the Lonely Mountain and already he had seen how dangerous the journey could be. He knew it’s not impossible that he would never see Erebor, that he would fall on his way to his ancestors’ home. He knew Thorin knew this as well. Promises would only be temporary consolation. They meant nothing and would only hurt if or when it’s broken.

“I won’t fall so easily,” Kili said. “I won’t be so easily removed from your side.” That was all he could offer, the only thing he knew he could prove.

Finally, Thorin released him. In the dark, Kili could barely see him. He was only a dark shadow in the infinite darkness. Unreasonably, fear gripped Kili’s heart and he held Thorin’s hand tightly. He bit his lip when Thorin held his hand back.

They listened to each other’s slow breaths in the dark, seeking strength in the touch of chilly hands. Outside the stone chamber their company prepared their camp for the night and beyond that the storm raged on. Despite the unsettling darkness, Kili wanted to stay here with Thorin forever, not wanting to step back to the threatening quest. But Erebor, their history and future, waited for them and they had only a limited time to take it back from the dragon. They must not stall.

“I have to make sure no one is injured,” Thorin said. Then, “always stay close to me or Fili.”

Kili nodded though maybe Thorin didn’t see. He swallowed thickly as Thorin squeezed his hand before slowly releasing it, as if reluctant part from Kili. He watched Thorin returned to their company, once again calm as if nothing had transpired in the shadows. The air was abruptly cold without Thorin nearby, so Kili quickly put his clothes on and then followed Thorin.

It felt mildly surreal to rejoin the company. No one seemed to have noticed that Thorin had gone to find Kili or perhaps they pretended to not notice. For a moment Kili thought he had only dreamt of the exchange but when he set up his bedroll beside Fili’s he caught Thorin’s eyes and saw him nod. Kili slept restlessly that night but the memory of Thorin’s embrace gave him some comfort and hope. At least until the floor collapsed and they fell to the goblins’ trap.

* * *

Kili cursed his luck as he held back the pain spreading from his injured leg. Of all times, to be injured, it had to be now when the Lonely Mountain was in front of him. After everything he went through in this quest-fighting a mountain full of goblins, chased by wargs and orcs, imprisonment in Mirkwood, and the barrel ride-he wouldn’t let a little injury stop him.

Kili did his best to hide his limp. He had gone through worse than this, he reminded himself. He had been injured before, had his bones broken and his skin cut. He could handle a bit of pain. No one seemed to care that he was a little battered from their last encounter with the orcs, and they really shouldn’t. Kili walked to the boat, determined to not let a small wound stop him.

“Not you,” Thorin said as he stopped Kili from boarding the boat. “We must travel at speed. You’ll slow us down.”

This couldn’t be true. Surely Thorin must be joking! “What are you talking about? I’m coming with you.”

“No. No,” Thorin said, shaking his head.

Frustration and disbelieve filled Kili. He cursed himself for letting his guard down at that crucial time, allowing the orc to injure him. He should’ve known better-and he knew better! Kili cursed himself for his momentary distraction. “I’m going to be there when the door’s opened. When we first look upon the halls of our fathers,” he said, reminding Thorin of his promise that night in Bag End.

Kili saw a spark of recognition and surprise in Thorin’s eyes. Had Thorin expected him to forget or perhaps to not hear that? Of course Kili remembered. Of course he heard. Thorin wasn’t the only one who always paid attention.

“Kili.” Thorin grasped Kili’s arm and for a moment Kili thought Thorin would let him have his way, would fulfill his promise, would let Kili stay by his side as he had ordered. But the hope was crushed when Thorin continued speaking. “Stay here. Rest.” Thorin stroke his hair, perhaps to console him, and in other situation Kili would rejoice and enjoy the touch, but not this time. Not when it signified separation. “Join us when you’re healed.”

It’s just a wound, Kili wanted to say. He had had worse and he could recover on the way. He didn’t want to stay here. He didn’t want to wait for who knew how long while Thorin reclaimed their kingdom. He didn’t want to be away from Thorin when they finally reached their goal.

But these words wouldn’t leave Kili’s mouth and Thorin pulled away from him. There was a hint of guilt on Thorin’s face but it did nothing to make Kili feel less betrayed. He stepped away, cold, in pain, and lonely. The ghost of Thorin’s touch disappeared too quickly. Kili couldn’t bear to look as the boat sailed away, leaving him, the useless and slow one.

* * *

Kili looked around him in awe. Erebor was much more beautiful than he ever imagined even after being abandoned for over a century. When he looked up, he could barely see the ceiling and below him was bottomless abyss of what once was endless mine. Strong tall pillars support the weight of the mountain and stairs and pathways led to chambers unexplored. It was old and rather worn for lack of maintenance, but Kili could easily imagine it repaired and the kingdom bustling with life once more-and they would make it happen! There had been some hiccups along the way and for a moment Kili even thought he would never made it, but they had finally reached their goal. They’re finally home, where they’re supposed to be.

“This way, laddie,” Balin called, leading the way. It amazed Kili how the dwarfs of Erebor never forgot it and navigated the large kingdom with ease as if they had never left for a day.

Balin led them through large rooms and long halls and Kili wondered what it had felt like to be born in another time, to grow up here, to know precisely where he came from and where he should be. Being born and raised in Ered Luin, Kili supposed he never fully understood the true power of his blood, but now, at this moment, he finally knew why Thorin always seriously carried out his responsibilities and why other dwarfs bowed deeply before him. Kili looked at Fili and smiled when their eyes met. Kili had never been more proud to be a Durin.

“Bombur!”

Bofur’s happy shout at the sight of his brother roused Kili from his daydreaming. He had been so absorbed by their surroundings that he hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going. Now he saw the familiar faces of his company. Much to Kili’s relief they all looked well despite their fight with the dragon. But then he remembered the ruins of Laketown, of those who had lost their loved ones and everything they had, and his gladness shrank. They were all right, but he couldn’t say the same for many Men out there.

“Kili.”

At the mention of his name, Kili looked up. He heart swelled as Thorin approached him hastily, worry and relief written all over his face, erasing any anger and disappointment left in Kili’s heart. Thorin’s grip on the nape of his neck was almost painful but it’s a reminder that this was real, that they were now in Erebor, alive and well. In contrast with the nearly painful hold, Thorin’s face was full of affection. He released a nearly inaudible breath as he leaned down slowly, bringing his forehead to knock gently against Kili’s. Briefly, their noses brushed against each other. Kili felt the teasing caress of breath against his skin and must resist the urge to lean up. It should be Thorin’s decision whether to close the gap between them or not. Kili only lightly brushed his fingers against Thorin’s side, silently telling him that, should Thorin wanted it, Kili wouldn’t resist.

However, Thorin pulled away, leaving Kili with a sense of being so close and yet so far. But he understood that they had many tasks waiting them. Taking Erebor from Smaug was only the beginning; they still had to rebuild the abandoned kingdom. Their feelings had to wait. “How is your injury?” Thorin asked, looking at Kili’s leg.

“It’s all right now,” Kili replied. He didn’t think it’s necessary to mention that he was healed by an elf. Thorin had been kind enough to not mention Kili’s conversation with Tauriel in Mirkwood but Kili doubted he could ignore having her heal Kili.

Thorin nodded and stepped away before turning to Fili. Kili tensed when he saw a contemplative look on Fili’s face. Clearly Fili realized something was happening between Thorin and Kili, but if he knew the true meaning behind the exchange, Fili kept it to himself. Fili assured Thorin of his wellbeing and made no mention of the different treatment he received. Someday Kili would tell him everything that had happen, but likely not soon.

Once satisfied that his company was complete, Thorin spoke to Kili and Fili. “Follow me. I’ll show you our vault, your birthright.”

It should be a moment of triumph but Kili noticed something strange in the tone Thorin took and in the glint of his eyes. There was something unsettling in the smile he gave to Fili and Kili, something sinister and hungry. That’s when he noticed the tension among the company who had gone with Thorin. They looked at the king in no small amount of worry and fear. Kili and Fili looked at each other and followed Thorin. Something had taken a hold of Thorin and Kili wondered if it was too late to stop it.

* * *

Kili groaned as feelings started to return to his body and various aches and pains registered to him. It had been like this every time he woke up since the battle a few days ago. He had been told that he was lucky to be alive, that his blood loss and multiple injuries could’ve claimed his life had he not been taken to safety in time. Kili had only been able to moan in response before the healer took mercy on him and gave him sleeping potion.

Since then Kili had mostly been kept in a state of unconsciousness. He woke briefly to eat and drink his medicine. He was told that he was recovering but it didn’t feel that way to him-he was still in as much pain as that first day. There were many questions in his mind, chiefly of which, the fate of his company, particularly Thorin and Fili. He knew Fili had fallen beside him in their attempt to protect Thorin and vaguely recalled Thorin’s anguished shout before he lost consciousness, but no one spoke about them. Kili wanted to ask the elves who cared for him but speech was impossible when his mind was filled with pain, and he was forced to suffer his worry in silence.

“Water,” Kili managed to croak out. He blinked his eyes rapidly to clear them enough to survey his surroundings but the potion still had a grip on him and Kili briefly slipped back to sleep before his parched throat reminded him of his needs. “Please. Water.”

Cool metal cup touched his lips and water was carefully poured into Kili’s waiting mouth. Kili nearly choked a few times but managed to down half of the cup before gasping in relief. He closed his eyes as he willed himself to ignore the pain.

“How are you feeling?”

At first Kili couldn’t place the voice. The hand softly stroking his hair didn’t help him think although it did help calm him. Unconsciousness once again crept in and the promise of temporary relief from the pain was more than welcomed. But then Kili remembered and opened his eyes wide. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw Thorin sitting by his bedside. He looked even worse than Kili with many dark bruises and layers of bloody bandaged on his body. His skin was paler than usual and Kili had no doubt that he was suffering pain as much, if not more than, Kili himself. Yet, he was there, caring for Kili. His eyes were clear and warm and not filled by greed, his expression full of concern and not hate, his touch gentle and familiar and not violent and angry.

“Thorin,” Kili gasped out. He forced his hand to move so he could touch Thorin and make sure that this wasn’t just an illusion created by potion or pain. His eyes widened when he touched solid skin instead of this air. “ _Thorin_.”

The next thing Kili knew was the firm press of Thorin’s lips on his. Strong hands carefully held him, mindful of his condition. Kili was too fatigued to properly kiss and he suspected the same for Thorin, but he tried his best to move his lips against Thorin’s. Kili whimpered softly, wishing he could hold Thorin as he had often dreamt of-and he had dreamt of this moment a billion times. He had thought of every scenario, everything he could do to make the moment better or worse, but none of those dreams had him lying prone on a bed and Thorin sustaining injuries. Still, those were dreams and this was real. Kili lightly clutched Thorin’s arm, unwilling to let the kiss stop.

Sadly, the need for air surfaced. Thorin pulled back and through the haze of pleasure and disbelieve. Kili noticed his lips were slightly red from the kiss. His heart expanded with love and joy. His attention focused solely on Thorin, Kili was barely aware of the small amused crowd at the door and only spared a quick glance at Fili who was watching in exasperation.

“I thought I would lose you,” Thorin said, his voice roughened by pain and emotion.

Despite the situation, Kili chuckled, his first happy laugh in what seemed to be a lifetime. “A few orcs couldn’t take me away from your side and that kiss has made me feel much better,” he teased with a weak smile. It was a horrible line but it made Thorin snort in amusement, a worthy reward for Kili’s embarrassment.

However, Thorin’s amusement didn’t last long and grief and regret quickly clouded Thorin’s face. “I have done such terrible things to you and everyone else. Do you still want to be by my side after all of this?”

“Of course,” Kiil replied quickly without sparing a moment for hesitation. “Always. I will be with you, making up for everything we have done wrong, and I will be with you when we realize everything we’ve ever dreamt of for Erebor and for ourselves,” Kili said with certainty, tightening his grip on Thorin to make sure he didn’t doubt a single word of it. “One more kiss?” he asked.

As Thorin complied and bestowed him with another kiss, Kili couldn’t remember being happier. This wasn’t a happily ever after. Difficult time no doubt lied ahead of them. However, this was a beginning and Kili couldn’t wait to traverse the future hand in hand with Thorin.


End file.
